I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
