im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
