I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
