worst night to have a conscience
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
