Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize