No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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