you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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