just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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