My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
