You made me cry and you don't even care
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
whose parrot is this?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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