Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
