Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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