Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize