I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
