Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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