stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
