On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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