Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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