So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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