So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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