seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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