Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
