Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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