Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize