Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
