i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize