I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
