Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
