Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
