i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
