Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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