Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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