oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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