Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
