Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
