And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
