Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
