i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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