The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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