Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
