You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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