Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
