"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
