he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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