I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
