Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Drunk is not a location!
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
