he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
