im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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