my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
