God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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