I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
