We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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