trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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