and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I love you.
Bad choice
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