I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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