I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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